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Do you trust your intuition?

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In today's world, for women to travel alone is practically insane but unavoidable at times.  So, yeah, listen to that little voice, especially when it gets cranked up and sounds off loud and clear. So you think you'll look silly?  Who cares?  You mightl ... sometime later, maybe.

Sounds like those here have had some experience in doing the right thing. 

BUT --- How many here have made it through a confrontation and later wished they had done something more to teach the others a hard lesson? 

How many have taken the defensive to teach a predator not to victimize anyone again? 

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I was mugged (kinda) in Toronto a few years ago. A guy tried to snatch my "man-purse" as he pedaled by on a bike... he couldn't have weighed more than 120lbs soaking wet and I was 232lbs at the time (so it really didn't work out well for him). I thought he just hooked my strap and when I tried to help him up he started swinging and flailing about... I figured out what was happening and reacted accordingly by boxing his ear and propping his limp body against the curb. The police showed up and witnesses cleared me from being arrested... turns out he was a repeat offender and had been beaten up many times before. I hit him once... and was very polite to the police... they saw me as a person with good selfcontrol...... the mugger saw this.....

 

 

 

Angeryrick.jpg

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~ I never doubt my intuition. :nono: My imagination does get carried away at times, :whistle: but my first initial feeling I always pay attention to.

 

One night at about midnight I was leaving the hospital and walking to my car alone. This very clean-cut, nice looking thirty-something year old man began walking toward me smiling at me. :wave:

 

My first instinct was Extreme wariness. Even though my "Miss manners brain" was telling me he's nice, soften up..... be sweet. I didn't have a lot of time to think, because he was approaching me fast... making a bee-line for me. So my "Lizard brain" (LOL) took over. When he was about 15 feet from me I stopped and turned to face him, and I yelled at him in an OBVIOUSLY annoyed MEAN voice "What do YOU want?" :mad: He stopped dead in his tracks, and siad "Do you know where I can buy a newspaper?" (something inside me felt bad for being mean, but even so) I looked at him like he was crazy, and told him "YEAH! Inside the Hospital!" very Sarcastically. I just stood there staring at him, physically daring him to make another move toward me. I had made up my mind if he kept on towards me, I was running back to the hospital. NO visitors can park anywhere near our parking area. There was no logical reason why he was out there. He turned and walked back across the parking lot away from the hospital. and away from my car.

 

I felt bad, but I was so angry at him. When I could think straight, I realized that I was mad because he had frightened me. scared011.gif I also told myself that NO decent man in his right mind would DARE approach a woman who was walking alone in a deserted parking lot in the middle of the night, unless he was up to no good. JUST to ask where to buy a newspaper.... wacky115.gif WHAT thirty year old can't figure out WHERE to buy a newspaper??? So even though by all appearances he looked like a friendly fellow, my intuition quickly added up all the other factors in seconds, (for me) and decided that his actions were actually HOSTILE. So I met him with Hostility. I never thought it through until later.

 

Would any of you men feel weird approaching a woman alone in a dark deserted parking lot to ask her a question? Did I overreact? :unsure:

 

Glad it turned out the way it did, but you were lucky. It is said that if you look like food, you will be eaten. I guess he figured you would be more trouble then it was worth to him.

Not an expert, but a dedicated student of many things. IMO, you were right, no 30y/o male is going to approach a lone female in a deserted parking lot in the wee hours, with good intent. Bad guys often use innocent requests to disarm, gain trust, allay fears, all the while closing the gap. When someone is approaching you and your "spider senses" start to tingle, listen to them. Most times when you "alert" (aggressive stance, face the individual, hands come out of the pocket and /or up, "What do YOU want!"), people with innocent intent, will stop, "sorry, I just wanted directions", but they will either back off, or stay where they are. If they keep coming, they have announced their intent. No one that you are not "intimate" with, should be allowed to approach you any closer then the distance that would force them to take a step or at least shift their weight to be able touch you. If they are already there, you must create space, by moving you or them, whatever easier. You must strike preemptively , if you let them hit you first, you may never recover, and you don't know what his intent is and weather or not he has a weapon (probably). The other thing to keep in mind, is to always think in terms of +1. In this example, there was only 1 potential bad guy in sight, but there are usually more then one, so if you see 1, look for the other one. If theres 2, wheres the 3rd? Do you normally (EDC) carry a weapon? Do you have any previous/current martial training? Creating/maintaining space allows you to do several things, it gives you reaction time, it gives you time to flee, if and only if you can do so safely (do you really think you could have out run him?). Thirdly, it gives you space to access your weapon, if it's appropriate. Please allow me to put in a plug for one of my favorite tools, the simple walking stick. Available with a horn or straight, some I've seen are down right pretty and feminine. No one sees it as the weapon it is. You can literally carry it anywhere, church, planes, government buildings, etc. People either admire your beautiful stick, or inquire as to your well being. Granted, it takes some adjustment, or getting used to, but, it is the only weapon that is already in your hand, all other weapons must be accessed and deployed prior to use. And if you doubt their efficacy, search for the autopsy reports that attest to their efficiency, Any one asks, you've got a bad knee form a fall a while back that bothers you occasionally, or you just want to be stylin' B). I don't think it should be your only tool, it isn't mine, as you can't carry it around with you at work, but I work in scrubs too, and you'd be amazed by what can be hidden with a little imagination. I'm never far away from my tools. Regards, Jim

Ps. "Do No Harm/Do Know Harm"

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Well-said, Jim.  And if anyone is unsure of the effectiveness of a walking stick:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stick_fighting

 

http://www.coldsteel.com/vdsc.html

 

The second link is for Cold Steel and their training video.  I'm not saying 'run out and buy this', just that there is a LOT of reference to stick fighting in general on the web.  A walking stick can be a brutally  effective defensive item.

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  ...  Most times when you "alert" (aggressive stance, face the individual, hands come out of the pocket and /or up, "What do YOU want!"), people with innocent intent, will stop, "sorry, I just wanted directions", but they will either back off, or stay where they are. If they keep coming, they have announced their intent.

 

Very good advice ... Tell the advancing person to stop right where they are.  Be bold enough in a firm and loud voice to say,

"What the 'H...' do you want?"  Be very loud to draw attention to yourself.  If anyone is nearby (and innocent) they love to ease drop on arguments, so be very loud and call the person names like you are familiar with them and tell them to go back to the gutter they crawled out of."  All the time you may even take one step in their direction while you pull out your weapon of choice.  Make them turn coat and run instead.  Not all battles can be won, so fight until there is no breath left in you.  Any pain inflicted on you can be cared for later, work on hurting them just as much .

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Ladies, Good Morning, Most men are stronger then some women. Trading blows especially when weapons are involved, is frequently not survivable, and at best, a no win victory.

We talk about "Survival Mindset", the concept extends into this realm too. They say, it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

My advice, seek your own level, but get skilled in some street effective empty hand stuff, because in some instances, the bad guy is on top of you before you realize it and you need skills to make space. The weapons you carry are all about appropriaty and access. Ideally, your empty hand techniques should support weapons use, and are philosophically oriented toward fighting your way back to a weapon. Your skills allow you to "flow" between gun, knife, stick, and empty hand, and the transitions and couplings are smooth. If your being shot at, the only appropriate response is to shoot back. For this you need a gun. Pistols exist for portability, concealment, and the management of unanticipated, emergent, life threatening contingencies. You go to a fight with a rifle. Close up, is the realm of the pistol, knife and impact weapons. There are techniques for using a pistol at bad breath range (contact to 7' is where most people get killed, and where you should spend most of your training) . It consists of making space, getting off the x, while drawing your gun, and while moving, shooting the person to the ground. Then looking for their buddies (+1). Knife is not about strength, its about knowledge, skill and finesse. Get good with it, because, you can't always have access to your gun. Knives are also quiet (silence is sometimes golden), and never run out of ammunition, but can break, so get a good one and carry several. Be aware, there are no guaranteed empty hand defenses against a knife. If you faced with one, run if you can,but its a bad idea to turn your back on a knifer. Put something between you and them,(cover), and get out your gun. No gun, grab anything you can get your hands on, and fight like your life depends on it, because it dose.

Impact weapons, from a magazine, with quarters lined up along the spine in the middle page, rolled up, maybe tapped (works good), to sticks, to jacks/saps to knucks. There are still folks that make blackjacks and saps, for collectors only, as you should never carry one, because there are a felony almost everywhere, but there are still some old cops that remember how to use them, that can teach you from a historical perspective, just to complete your knowledge of your collection. Same with "knuckle dusters", brass (or other metal) knuckles, illegal because they are so nasty. Sticks, from somthing you pickup off the ground, to the custom made version, have a long history attesting to their effectivness.

Schools; It has been said, that self defense is like a yard stick, with "don't be there", and "feet, don't fail me now" (always, run away if you can), next is empty hand, chemical weapons, impact weapons, edged weapons, and projectile weapons, and what you don't know, is what you will need, so the study goes on. Gabe Suares (www.suarezinternational.com), James Yeager (www.tacticalresponse.com), Tom Sotis (www.edgedweaponsolutions.com), James A. Keating (www.jamesakeating.com) and (www.gutterfighting.org). Other sites, www.canemasters.com, www.bulletproofme.com (body armor is not a panacea, but makes some situations survivable that otherwise you would not survive and your looking for Kevlar 129) If you want/need to get in shape, no matter where your starting from, contact the folks at Warroir Forge (www.teamruthless.com). (their site is temporarly down, but check back)

Get a blowout kit, and the training to go with it, and edc it. It is a BDU pocket sized kit that allows you to treat yourself or a buddy for the 3 things that are treatable, that can kill you before help can get to you. They are massive blood loss from an extrimity, airway compromise, and tension pneumothorax. And no, you do not need letters behind your name to learn how to use this stuff, well. Either Gabe or James Yeager have classes that are designed to take John or Jane Q, and teach them how to give their buddy or themselves a chance to survive some injuries that will otherwise kill them. Tactical Response Gear sells one, their Ventilated Operators Kit (VOC), that is probably the best pre-made kit available.

I am a huge supporter of women knowing how to realistically and effectively defend themselves. If I have offended, I apologies, but what I'm talking about here is about an opportunity to go home to your loved ones, to see that smile one more time, to feel that hug, to make sure those that you love and love you know it. It's about tomorrows, and though they're NEVER promised, you can stack the odds in your favor. And if your not cheating, your not trying hard enough. Regards, Jim

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Great post, Jim! :thumbsup:  My daughter and I both have attended self-defense classes and we will continue taking the classes whenever they are offered at her school or at our church, just to stay "fresh". 

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Excellent post Jim... everything in it is good, solid, REAL advice.  :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

 

 

You left out one of the most effective weapons, though... a dog. Even the smallest shitzu will defend you to the death... attackers are more likely to pass you over while Fido is at your side. You can't take them everywhere... but a good dog can serve as a personal bodyguard, a car alarm (don't leave them inside on hot days, please) a house alarm... they can protect you from other animals and will sense danger well before you do in most cases. Plus they can be your best buddy.

 

 

When I taught women's self defense, our first classes were not what they expected. Many of them joined up thinking they would learn Karate/kung-fu moves in hopes of being able to stand "toe to toe" with an attacker. We focused more on avoiding situations that would put you at risk in the first place.... there were no techniques involving punching, blocking or throwing your attacker. Thinking can keep you out of danger... but in a life or death struggle, you need to become primal... not think, but react. You learn simple, proven, techniques intimately enough so that you can forget them... they become a reaction.... and when backed by a good adrenalin dump... are very effective.

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My wife is a second shift nurse and dark parking lots after midnight and the drive home that late make her a target for attack. Ive told her to make her stand right there. Dont go anywhere with the guy unless there is no choice. Turn into an animal, scream and snarl like you are possesed. Hold your arms in front or you with your fists covering your face. That will have him grabbing your arms than pound his nose as hard and fast as you can. That should give you a slight moment for him to back off. Than run like hell towards the building screaming your head off.

 

Your chances of surviving if you go with him are very slim so you might as well fight for your life right there.

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Great post, Jim! :thumbsup: My daughter and I both have attended self-defense classes and we will continue taking the classes whenever they are offered at her school or at our church, just to stay "fresh".

 

Good evening all, Holly, Thanks!

I know I'll probably get some flack for this, and if I offend, I apologies, it's not my intent to do so. I respect everyones perspective, choices, etc, so long as it doesn't interfere with someone elses stuff. That said, In my opinion, the modern martial arts, with many notable exceptions, but still a minority, have lost their "martial" and grown closer to sports. There is very little comparison between their current state, and what they taught even 50 years ago. If you have found a home in an art, God Bless. I just worry about folks that go to a school to learn self defense, and what they are taught will get them hurt or killed on the street, but it's advertised as self defense. When you "randori" in class, the student your "fighting" with, knows your art and will stay within the confines of said art. That ain't gonna happen on the street. When is the last time someone from outside of your art was invited to your class, if for no other reason then to respectfully share ideas and different ways of moving, much less seeing if your stuff would fly against someone that's doing something different then what you were taught? When is the last time you fought on the street bare footed in a gi? When's the last time you took it outside, in the rain or snow, on broken ground? How's it feel to get tossed, and how do your break falls work in an ally?

Again, please excuse me, I am an expert in nothing, but a student of many things. I mean no disrespect to anyone, I'm concerned with saving lives. Please make sure, that if you are studying something to teach you how to protect your family and yourself, that it will in fact work against an aggressive, determined, probably armed attacker(s), that want to kill you. Please stay safe. Regards, Jim

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Jim, I take no offence to your posts and find they are right on the money. I haven't taught for atleast 13yrs now... but I think you would have been pleased with the ligitimacy of the classes back then.... right along the lines of what you're saying and I had knowlegeable people assisting me in many aspects of the subject including the biological and psychological changes we experience in these situations.

 

Cheers.

Rick

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No one should take offense on this subject.  It is as open as the techniques of survival where there are too many for everything to work in every situation.  Each has to find what really works for them.

Now in reading over what I wrote in case of a misunderstanding; in this case a would be attacker has already made the approaching move, and if the defender does nothing or tries to run, then it is a no win situation.  In these cases stats show a victim is most likely going to be moved to another location to be killed.  This is why I say fight with every breath ... turn fear into anger and stop your attacker.

 

 

Very good advice ... Tell the advancing person to stop right where they are.  Be bold enough in a firm and loud voice to say,

"What the 'H...' do you want?"  Be very loud to draw attention to yourself.  If anyone is nearby (and innocent) they love to ease drop on arguments, so be very loud and call the person names like you are familiar with them and tell them to go back to the gutter they crawled out of."  All the time you may even take one step in their direction while you pull out your weapon of choice.  Make them turn coat and run instead.  Not all battles can be won, so fight until there is no breath left in you.  Any pain inflicted on you can be cared for later, work on hurting them just as much .

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Thanks Askdamice, Your feedback is appreciated. If you don't mind me asking, what's you background art, and why did you stop teaching?

I met a Black Belt in Kempo, that said he could take a punch from anyone, and then take them apart. Maybe so, but I was taught that there is always someone thats bigger, stronger and faster then you, so...

The local Fu Jow Pi (sp?) (Tiger Claw Kung Fu) sifu, said he never allows his students to practice full contact, because then they would know pain, and that would make them fearful on the street. I'm sorry, but that's not the kind of surprises I want. I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that if someone wants to teach something as an art, or exercise or whatever, and their students are getting their "itches" scratched, great, and some of those, might even make a reasonable representation of them selves on the street, but for those that don't/can't, don't put your students in peril with false promises or expectations. Regards, Jim

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LOST, I understood what you were saying the first time.

 

 

 

I can understand that when someone challenges what someones been taught, that you've literally put your blood, sweat, and tears, not to mention time and frequently a LOT of money into, when somebody tells you that its wrong, or not founded in reality, ego's aside, they get PISSED, which is why I say, if you are happy where you are, knowing what you know, doing what you do, great. My only request, is to not represent what you teach as something it might not be. The price is simply too high. Regards, Jim

 

 

Edited: to reduce the potential for future misunderstandings. Jim

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LOST, I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean. Did I in some way offend you? Please explain. I was saying how I could understand how someone could take offense to what I had posted. I hope there was no misunderstanding between you and I. If so I apologize. Regards, Jim

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Thanks Askdamice, Your feedback is appreciated. If you don't mind me asking, what's you background art, and why did you stop teaching?

I met a Black Belt in Kempo, that said he could take a punch from anyone, and then take them apart. Maybe so, but I was taught that there is always someone thats bigger, stronger and faster then you, so...

The local Fu Jow Pi (sp?) (Tiger Claw Kung Fu) sifu, said he never allows his students to practice full contact, because then they would know pain, and that would make them fearful on the street. I'm sorry, but that's not the kind of surprises I want. I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that if someone wants to teach something as an art, or exercise or whatever, and their students are getting their "itches" scratched, great, and some of  those, might even make a reasonable representation of them selves on the street, but for those that don't/can't, don't put your students in peril with false promises or expectations. Regards, Jim

 

I've studied martial arts for approx. 23yrs.... the last half "unlearning' what I was taught... lol. I started with TKD in my highschool days and progressed through Aikido and Kung-Fu. I enjoyed KF because it spanned such a large array of techniques both spiritual and martial. I did alot of tournements across the country and enjoyed meeting the great people. As much as I loved the animal styles, the competitions and the weapons forms.... I found myself wanting to get to the core of the original purpose for these fighting arts. Bruce Lee (as corny as that is) had a big influence on me. IMO he was the first to bring mixed martial arts to the foreground.

 

I stopped teaching for work purposes at first... After a while I started to teach, informally to local Martial Artists and friends.... lol... I called it "Sum Dum Joe" It came full circle for me when my original KF teacher inquired about taking private lessons. Then bare-knuckle tournement fighters liked it because I focused on the mental/biological aspects of physical confrontations... and the natural reactions that are unavoidable but workable in the right state of mind. Adrenaline can be your ally... but it can also be your undoing when improperly channelled. I used to say....

 

"There is NO defence against a sucker punch.... it is what you do in those precious seconds after, that wil determine the outcome."

 

Rick

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I'm sorry but I have to share a funny story that stresses the fact that things can change very quickly when unexpected situations arise...

 

I was training with a guy who was in tip-top condition... he was stronger and faster than me and a sponge when it came to learning. We played a game where the defender would close their eyes and repel an attack. (it taught us to recover our wits, quickly) We carried it over into street defence and had a bunch of random scenarios... he got good really fast and I ended up on the receiving end of some pretty nasty stuff. He became jokingly arrogant at one point and challange me to stump him with a scenario. I thought for a second.... then spat in his face and proceeded to put a little hurt on him... he was shocked and caught off guard. After that, he was never affected by "a bit of moisture" again.

 

I enjoyed spitting on him.... Ha ha ha.... I keeps it REAL, yo!

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If you are serious about self defence.... then Jim is right in saying .... you should treat it like any survival training....

 

Prepare yourself by honing your skills in an environment that is as close to a real scenario as can safely be done... and hope that you never have the opportunity to use it.

 

Rick

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