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Swede

stranded for seven days

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Huh what oh I must have over slept. I think I had a visit last night from Pussyfoot(big foots sister) so im really worn out and stuff today. Ill try to get up a progress report later. :yawn: :smoke:

 

I finished off that twelve pack last night. :dead:

 

Why am I spitting up hair balls? 8|

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Guest taken by the wind...

~  :cheers:  way to go Survivor Guy!    :pray: (Survivor Guy Rules!)

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Wow what a night. I feel like Ive been rode hard and put away wet. The pictures on the wall are crooked. What happened????

Man that dam beer makes you sore all over for some reason. :unsure:

 

I sure miss my old friend HazeyWolf. Hes the worlds most respected expert on sasquatches. We worked together a while back (it seems years ago now) on sasquatchery. Some of his writings on bigfoot leave you breathless. He is also an expert on phalic symbol rock formations and trees. Although his work in this area is somewhat unappreciated in some circles I found them to be quite entertaining.  :cool:

 

Im sure going to miss my shelter when my SURVIVAL mission is done. I wont want to miss the next episode of young and the restless on the tv here but you have to do what you have to do in a SURVIVAL situation. I want to be sure and explain to my young fans not to attempt this at home. Only a trained professional like myself should ever attempt any thing like this.

 

I checked my box trap this afternoon and fortunately I had caught a racoon in my trap. Unfortunately I shouldnt have reached under the trap to see what I had. Man those little creatures are tough and very grumpy.I think they can turn around inside their own skin when you try to hold them. It looks like someone played tic tack toe on my face with a fork and now I can blow air through my cheek. :dribble:

 

Well its getting time to turn in for the night so Ill be sure and catch you up on my SURVIVAL tomorrow.

 

See you later(I hope) :wave:

 

Survivor Guy

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It looks like someone played tic tack toe on my face with a fork and now I can blow air through my cheek.

 

It seems as though the student has become the teacher!!

 

Who would'a thought...using a raccoon to help create an Alternative SURVIVAL Airway. Genius!! I can only imagine how this may come in handy in a SURVIVAL situation where you are unable to breath normally thru your mouth - like ..... should you have a beer can stuck to your lips, or if your are unlucky enough to be force-fed anouther slice of Pussyfoot's pie!! :woot: :woot: 

 

SURVUVOR GUY is the Master!  :arigato: :arigato: :pray: :pray:

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Been a buisy day here my crew (Mrs Swede) came out today and I helped her put the plastic over the windows on the porch of my shelter. Shes really been great at my being gone all the time although she had a friend of hers come stay all night with her to keep her company. Shes pretty worn out from all the lonelyness shes been enduring and she didnt have much energy from the trama. She didnt even mention the accident she must have had that left two bruises on the side of her neck. :(

 

Ive had a lot of time to think about my next adventure. I thought about going on the road on a comedy tour. Maybe Unca Walt and HazeyWolf and Bigblue and me could start a SURVIVOR GUY COMEDY TOUR. Unca Walt could dress up like red green and tell humorus stories about his red hot red head wife and HazeyWolf could dress up like bigfoot and be the first alcholic sasquatch and get tossed out of bars showing dirty pictures of rocks and trees. Bigblue could be a ventriloquist with Little Pink as his dummy and Little Pink could show his butt and tell funny stories about SURVIVAL. I could be Larry the SURVIVOR GUY and instead of telling fart jokes I could show how to start a fire with a fart.Man that would be fun. :clap:

 

Well its day six and it seems like day fourteen about now. Its been tough but a trained professional like myself just sucks it up and keeps going.

I see my fan club is growing fast so Im going to have to avoid them as much as possible. Im thinking of starting my own forum and see if I can get some idiots to run it for me for free. Im so popular Im sure they will do it.Ive got my family friendly image you know.Soon Im going to build a house out in the middle of nowhere and put Mrs Swede out there eating roots and berries while I travel all over the world.I think Ill give up my fantasy of being a rock star(lol have you heard my music?) :blush:

 

Well the take out from the deli is here so I better sign off. Its getting late here because my training tells me its dark outside.

 

Ill talk to you tomorrow if I SURVIVE :wave:

 

SURVIVOR GUY

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Guest taken by the wind...

~ Swede... I think you and Hazey should become the "pussyfoot whisperers". You could travel to cabins in the backwoods all over rural America showing folks how to handle their sasquatches. I know Woods could Probably be your first customer... (since he's got one stalking him around the swamp)

 

You could teach them all how to evoke that calm dominance over the sisters of big feet throughout the Northern Hemisphere. Hazey could write books on how to hypnotize them as well... You guys could make a fortune. Of course you'd have to acquire your own "stable" pack of pussyfoots to rehabilitate the wild ones... that shouldn't be too hard if you get Lead Dog in on the adventure...  they don't call him "Lead Dog" for nothing.  You could use Super Squirrel for bait, just spread some of Bigblue's grape jelly between his cute little ears... None of those crazy big-footed-she-beasts will be able to resist that chatter out in the woods. His camo suit should keep him safe enough. (until Hazey could move in with the hypnotic kill...) You'd have enough for a pack in no time.

 

Just an idea.

 

 

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It looks like HazeyWolf is stopping by today so Ill see if he wants to pussyfoot wisper Taken. Females of any kind dont take to wispering very well :unsure:

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Guest taken by the wind...

~ Dear Survivor Guy...

 

seeing as how I am not a "pussyfoot" so to speak, I don't think it would work...  I do have a brother, but he's nowhere near to being a Big Foot (His wife is probably disappointed) but small feet tend to run in our family. I am already quite certain that Hazey could never hypnotize me, (especially if he still uses the "look into the mirror and blow up like a balloon" visualization technique.) So, even though I may be lured into your trap by a little squirrel with some tasty grape jelly on his head... I don't think y'all could handle me once you got me. I would be a danger to the stability of your pack!

:P  :wave:

 

P.S. 

 

Glad to see you're still alive!

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Day seven and Im waiting for my crew to pick me up. Im one cold and hungry SURVIVOR GUY. Sometimes I think my crew expects to find me froze to death. I lied about me being cold and hungry but I think its really dramatic to say things like that like the one "if you sweat you die" things like that and stuff.

 

Ive been thinking about doing a show called snow shoes and blisters but Mrs Swede says count me out. I know you were all anxious to see Mrs Swede nakid in my canoe but she says that aint happening.Bigblue tried that and it was his nakid butt we all got to see.What is there about canoes and nakid butts? 8|

 

I wonder where my crew (Mrs Swede) is? She should have been here hours ago. I thought she would be anxious to see me home. Something big must have come up. :yes:

 

The wind is blowing really hard out of the south today. I know its south because I face the north and extend my arms east and west and the only one left is south. Bigblue taught me that one. He knows all that stuff except how to make grape jelly.  :P

 

Boy where is she? I cant wait to get home. Im going to try some of that nyquil like Taken takes when I get there. Man she really gets blasted on that stuff and wanders around looking at the moon and stuff. Shes actually got a mailing list where she mails out thongs to people- man shes HOT. :woot:

 

Mrs Swede must have gotten tied up so I guess Ill call  my buddy on my cell and surprise her.

 

Well Ill be posting where Ill be going next. It wont be Iraq like some have suggested but somewhere.

 

See you down the trail. :wave:

 

SURVIVOR GUY

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I hate that I missed this untill now....thanks it was a great read lol, though I don't mind having missed Blue's nakid butt in a canoe. With all of the trouble I am having with this  censored.gif computer today I wish I was stranded somewhere for about seven days....well off to see if I can get any work done...see y'all later

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We havent heard anything from Bigpink in quite awhile. Yes the whole exposure incident was quite uh extraordinary.  :scared:  Bigblue could explain the whole sordid event better than I could.  :P

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Survivor guy may is sugest that sence you had a computor with you you look at porn online . A trip like yours sounds like a vacation to me right about now. Of and you should have called taken insted of the 900 number it would have ben cheaper

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